"Let Me Be a Woman"

Last night I inhaled the first half of Elisabeth Elliott's book "Let Me Be a Woman." It was exactly what I needed to hear. She is such an encouraging, bright, and faithful lady! What I've taken away from this book so far is this sense that her highest calling is to walk in the essence of her womanhood- how God created her as a woman- to His glory. For her this has involved being a wife (3 times actually, her 1st two passed away), a mother, and a servant in the world.

She points to the essence of womanhood being the woman's unique ability to serve in the world around her. Some women are called to be single and they live out their womanhood serving and "mothering" the people around them. Singleness brings with it many opportunities to serve and a lot more flexibility. It also brings the human challenges of purity and contentment in not having a mate. Being married gives you a more focused point of service- your husband whom God created you for. The book of Genesis outlines how Eve was created to be a helper for Adam. In this role a woman can pour out herself fully for the fulfillment, enjoyment, and edification of one man. What a calling indeed! I love Ms. Elliott's humorous chapters on discovering the humanness and maleness of your husband. He is altogether male and this is sometimes hard to live with as a woman! But in the day in day out walk of marriage I see such a beautiful opportunity to minister relentlessly to the one I love most.

She speaks of the joy and sacrifice of being a mother. Oh how I long to be able to raise up children who fear the Lord and honor His name- who find their unique giftings and can be a blessing to others. Not every woman will be a mother to biological children. But either way there is a sense that mothering can be done in so many places in society. And it is this compassion, this sacrifice, this pull of pouring out that can show the submissive and self-sacrificing character of God Himself in the world. Jesus came not to be served, but to serve, and to pour out His life as a ransom for many. And after serving, He has been exalted to the right hand of the Father and He will reign forever. He taught the disciples to build the church to serve and to be submissive to the Lord. The church is altogether feminine in its role as the Bride of Christ.

All this to say I am struggling once again with what it is I am to DO with my time! We are about to embark on this adventure to Pennsylvania and I want my role and how I spend my time to be pleasing to the Lord and edifying to my husband. This could mean not being employed at all and focusing on keeping the house clean, food ready, dog walked, me physically fit and less stressed, and growing my walk with the Lord and with Greg. That sounds wonderful to me!!! But we'd be pretty tight month to month financially so it could be wise to continue some type of work so that we can save for another car in a couple years and save for the start up costs of having a baby one day. I've thought about grad school- but why? To have a career? We'd be in debt for years and I'd get the degree only to not use it for a few years and have the education not be as relevant when I jumped in the rat race later down the road. Plus, there are no degree programs in this town that fit my even slight interests. So that leaves me with a plain Jane undergraduate experience job. This seems to fit the mold with bringing in some income, staying low stress, and being able to love my husband well. Maybe I am just not meant to be a superstar like others in the career-wife-mom(one day) category. But as I look deep inside at where my passions lie, it's to give my life and my intellect to my family and not to all the other people in the rat race. I am sure down the road there could be room for me to broaden my pastures to include impacting more people. After all, Elisabeth Elliott is a world-renowned author and missionary. But I sense that my time has not yet come and that if there are big things in my future, there is no sense in trying to create opportunity that isn't meant to be in my story yet.

I can imagine I have offended some in these ramblings and maybe shocked others. I only mean this as an understanding of my life as it stands now. It is not your life nor may it even be my reality as I continue to seek these things out. I welcome thoughts and opinions if you think they will be challenging and/or encouraging.