Today I came home from the dermatologist office with my back covered in stickers and tape. I was not sure what exactly I was getting into going to get "patch tested" for common chemicals found in soaps, creams, shampoos, etc. I guess I thought it would be like the scratch testing you get at the allergy office. Painful little scrapes that turn into itchy welts and two hours later you know the results. Patch testing didn't hurt at all :-) Just little stickers each covered in their own chemical compound all stuck on my back and covered with a big layer of tape to hold them on. I am supposed to 1) not bend over until Wednesday so the stickers stay put and 2) not itch and 3) not wash my back until Friday! Lovely. I was not planning to be limited with flexibility for 5 days or two have to take a bath instead of a shower (I hate baths...) Anyways, it has given me a little clarity on the other area of inflexibility in our lives right now and I hope the new perspective will give me an opportunity to respond to it with wisdom.
I'm sure back in the blogosphere somewhere I shared our early struggles with introducing the bottle to Emily. Her answer was a firm "no" until we tried again at 7 months. At that point she looked like she'd won the lottery every time you presented her with a bottle. Success! A little freedom for Mama! Our baby girl has learned a new skill! Little did we know that her attachment would lead to weaning from nursing before a year and now to this development of the bottle as her only soother. I'm sure it was a mistake to incorporate it into the afternoon nap routine (we survived the morning one without ever introducing it), but it was working like a charm to wind her down that way. Now I've dropped one of four daily bottles entirely (the one after her morning nap) and she whines intermittently from 10:30-2 until she gets the pre-afternoon nap one. She also throws a fit before her morning nap even though she never did this before and we've never had a bottle at that one. Doc says I need to get down to just the bedtime bottle and ideally get rid of that one, too. But I can't imagine how to do that if she is so frantic about the easiest one being gone. She's not *great* with her cups yet, either. She'll drink some from straw cups and sippies, but not nearly enough to hydrate her for the day. Do I hang on to the bottles awhile longer and see if she weans from those to a lovey for soothing and cups for milk on her own like she did from nursing? Do I set a deadline soon because the older she gets the harder it will be? Do I try the sports bottle sippies because they resemble a bottle or is that perpetuating the same drinking method and that's bad? What worked for you if your child was attached to the bottle?
What I've taken from my experience today is that being thrown off by change that is unexpected and uncomfortable can be hard. It can leave you reaching for something else but not knowing what you need to feel better. Perhaps that is a little of what Emily is feeling. She knows she used to wake up and have a bottle and it isn't there anymore. How can I encourage flexibility when communication is still in the beginning stages and her struggle with expression leads to meltdowns? I'm pouring on the love as much as I can and trying to hold firm with the change that's been made while brainstorming how to keep moving forward.
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Sweet Friend, I can relate to the struggle of weaning the bottle and although I do not have an ideal answer for you, I will share what we went through on this end.
ReplyDeleteHowever, only you will know what works best for Emily and if you feel like she isn't quite ready to be weaned, it will not hurt her to be on the bottle a little longer. But I would encourage you to set a deadline and talk to Emily about it. Granted, she won't understand your words, but if you're encouraging about the change rather than viewing it like you're taking something away from her, you'll find that she may adjust a little easier because she's picking up the vibe from you that this is a good thing. It is a healthy development for her and for you. It is true in my experience that the older they get, the harder it is.
One thing that we did to help wean was continuing to give them a bottle for comfort, but it was filled with water (or watered down milk) and fewer ounces of liquid each time. My girls started to dislike & reject the bottle because it wasn't satisfying anymore. We offered them their milk filled straw sippy cups more often and sometimes we filled them with something "fun"(watered down juice), so that they learned to be excited moreso with the sippy and less with their bottle. This was done along with offering them an afternoon snack(grapes, cheese, crackers, raisins, cheerios) so that you stave off any hunger before laying them down for nap. I just cut my girls off their last bottle (evening feeding) when they turned 15 months(the 23rd). It was hard because it messed up our routine a bit, but if you fill what was there with something else, they adjust quite well. Kare & Kels now know to take a BIG gulp of milk before bed & that tides them over til 8:30am.
Sorry for the lengthy post. I will be praying for you and Emily while to go through these difficult adjustments. With every change, stay positive!! Emily is beautiful and she has a wonderful Mom! You are doing a great job! Love & miss you so much!!